And Today I Remembered Why I Never Wanted to Be a Cougar...

Hello bloggers! First of all, let me tell ya'll that I do love going to Brigham Young University. I do. However...I do not claim being a BYU fan. I can't do it. And today, I remembered why I never wanted to be a BYU Cougar in the first place. Let me tell ya'll my tragic story.

So I arrive at the game. Alone. No one wanted to go with me. This is the life of a southerner in Utah. No one appreciates baseball quite like I do. This is a fact that I can accept. So by going alone, this means that I have to sit alone. Also acceptable. So I walk up and find a completely empty row, save one guy. Well, it is BYU, so I assumed he had friends or family coming to join him. So I put my hand on a seat two seats away from him and ask if it is saved. He looks at me and with the most arrogant tone he can muster says, "yes, this seat is saved for my WIFE". And then he pointedly looked at me. Ok, hold on. I just asked for a seat, not for a date. I could care LESS if he was married. I just wanted somewhere to sit. But Mr. Hot Shot thought he was just the sexiest beast alive, and therefore assumed that I was trying to flirt with him. Ridiculous. Attention boys at BYU: just because some of us don't have rings on our fingers, doesn't mean we aren't taken. And even if we aren't taken, doesn't meant that we are even looking! So get off your high horse, pull the stick out of your butt, look in a mirror, or swallow your own face, because the egos and rude behavior is completely unnecessary and uncalled for. I was annoyed before I even took my seat. After I sat down, he just exuded annoyance because I actually sat down. But I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of finding another seat and letting him think he was being hit on. Oh no. He was going to have to deal with my cold shoulder for the game. The best part was that for a few innings, I was convinced that he had lied and that there was no wife coming. But she eventually showed up. And then this guy proceeded to update her on what she had missed. I love when people who know nothing about baseball try to talk about baseball. They just sound ridiculous. And it wasn't just him who wasn't afraid to blab their ignorance to the world. The rest of the student section wasn't much wiser. 

Here are a few things that annoy me at BYU games:

1. People don't understand baseball.

2. People doing chants like when the boys were 8 playing baseball. "Three up, three down, no one gets around, I said three up, three down, no one gets around...". Yeah. They know how to play the game. They don't need us to chant it for them.

3. People bate and call out rude comments to the opponent's pitcher and catcher. Some things are just not necessary to say. Have respect for the game and the opposing team. Seriously. I don't see you out there on the field, so can it!

4. A foul ball is a foul ball. Just because the ball connects with the bat doesn't mean it is going anywhere. Nothing phenomenal happened. The level of skill being played is mediocre. So stop freaking out about every little thing.

Nothing special happened in this game. It was really mediocre. BYU was playing Seattle. Seattle is just like BYU in that they can't play until June because of bad weather (ok, June may be an exaggeration, but most teams in the south get much longer playing time). Most of the outs were pop ups to the outfields. If a runner did get on base, he was stranded. There was one hit to the BYU pitcher where he fielded it to the first baseman and got an out. You would've thought it was a triple play though, based on the reaction of the stands. My personal favorite was when the center fielder, short stop, and second baseman, all ran in for a pop up, and even though the ball was going towards the center fielder's glove, no one bothered to call it, so they all were just staring at it. Right before the ball could hit the ground, the short stop slid in and caught it. It was a nice catch. But I am not going to go crazy about a lack of communication. I'm sorry. But that was a routine play that I have seen my brother and his teammates execute for years. And he is 14. College-level players should be able to communicate with each other. Now, Seattle was just as guilty. BYU got to first on a bunt only because the catcher and pitcher couldn't communicate with each other. But the comments made by the BYU student section to the Seattle catcher was uncalled for. I understand that it is a competitive sporting event, but there is a certain etiquette to be followed. In the end, BYU lost 2-1, stranding a runner on third. Not a very impressive game. Nothing exciting happened. I wasn't on the edge of my seat with nervous excitement for BYU. Instead, I was on the edge of my seat with annoyance. I ended up watching the last 2 innings in the aisle, away from the crowd. BYU fans have nothing to be so riled up about. BYU will never make it to Omaha. And not just that, but these fans get all worked up about a game they don't even understand. BYU fans are more obnoxious than Texas fans. And coming from me, that is saying something.

So needless to say, I am home now watching the second game on BYUtv. It is much better from the comfort of my own home, with roommates who know about baseball and without boys who think they are the hottest thing since global warming. I love baseball. I love BYU. I do not love BYU fans. I hope none of ya'll judge me for their bad behavior and ignorance. 

So always remember....

All good things come to those who UNDERSTAND baseball.

Sometimes I Fall Asleep While Praying...

Hello bloggers! Sorry for disappearing. My life has pretty much been consumed by this wonderful thing I like to call college. While most of you are kicking it back at PCB or setting obnoxious facebook statuses about that "one last big paper before SBXII", I am still in the throes of my schoolwork. In the last 12 days, I have taken 3 tests, taken 6 quizzes, turned in 10 homework assignments, had 3 pop quizzes, and have another midterm starting tomorrow. And two opening next week. Life of a Brigham Young University student does not get easier in March. In fact, it gets harder. Unlike the rest of you goons, we don't have a spring break. True, we do get to get out in mid April. But that just means that for the next 3 1/2 weeks, our professors try to shove as much knowledge and assignments into our systems as they can. I don't know how we all survive. My dad likes to tease that I am useless on my drive back to Georgia. Maybe that is because I don't put a book down until I get in the car to go home. Last night, I studied all day for my anatomy quiz, and went to a total of 3 hours of anatomy lab. When I got home, I ran to clear my head, then sat down at the table and immediately started studying for Italian. Forget writing Devin. I always know I have a had a crazy stressful week when I don't have time to write the boyfriend. Never a good sign for how my week has gone. I feel like I am constantly studying for something. Even if I don't have a book in my hand, my mind is constantly whirling, quizzing myself on different subjects. I am always stressed and alert. My newest vice is tea. For whatever reason, tea has really helped bring my stress levels down. I haven't been able to sleep well this semester, which is odd for me. I think it is because I can't stop naming off different anatomy terms and picturing the cadavers or specimens in my mind. Life is rough. And to top it all off, I have been applying and doing different stuff for summer jobs. Even the simplest of tasks, like updating my resume, takes twice as long as it should because I don't have time to add one more thing to my plate. My brain is almost at it's max capacity!!! But in 3 1/2 weeks, I will be done. Then reading days will come. And then finals. And then sweet home Georgia! It can't come fast enough. 

So as the title suggests...I have been pretty exhausted. Everyone is. Today, all of my roommates (myself included), and Dylan (Devin's brother), all slept in. It was just a day to oversleep I suppose. I still made it to class on time, I had just wanted to wake up to study a few more verb conjugations for my Italian test. I spend many mornings waking up 2 hours before I need to just to review some term or go over some concept. Welcome to my life. Tomorrow, anatomy lecture is cancelled. So I am taking a mental health day!! Just means I am missing Italian. I go every day AND I just took a midterm. I feel like it is justified. Sadly, I will probably spend a majority of it studying for my anatomy lecture test. Sigh.

Alright alright, I am done talking about school. Sorry ya'll. On a happier note, I have been running again! Oh how I have missed it. There is nothing better than the feeling in your legs as you beat your way 1.5 miles up a mountain. And the relief to be able to go downhill for 1.5 miles. It helps to have a good running partner as well! Amber and I started running together last semester. She is the best! We have this great policy that "what is said on the run, stays on the run". It is a perfect place to get any concern, fear, or thought out. Plus, our favorite place to run is up in the canyon, so it helps to be surrounded by beautiful mountains and fresh air. I love it. It leaves me so peaceful. I am grateful to have my running shoes and my best friend Amber. Without them, I would be totally lost. I feel like I have found myself this semester. I have been so lost. Last summer was hard. Probably one of the hardest time periods of my life. I think everything in my life just accumulated, and one thing just triggered me into despair. All I had last summer was my running shoes. And great friends, though at the time, I couldn't see it. But I ran almost every day. 

And if all else fails...go to Chipotle! Proof that you can indeed buy happiness!

When I think back on the summer, all I can recall is being really numb, and running. Running helped bring feeling and purpose back into my life. It sounds over dramatic, I know. But last summer, I broke. Life got the best of me. Devin played a big part in putting me back together. He listened to me. He never gave up on me, even when I pushed everyone out. But he had to leave on his mission last October. It's good though. He gave me the push I needed to find happiness for myself. He helped me bring me out of my misery and show me how to live again, but he also helped me find myself. Him being gone is hard. I feel his absence every day. But mostly because I miss my best friend. But you know what bloggers, a part of me is grateful. His absence has made me take that push he gave me, and act on it. I am happier. I live in a much nicer apartment, with roommates who are practically hand cut for me. School is much harder, but some of the stresses from last semester are gone, making school much easier to handle. I feel as though my very soul has found peace. I am who I am. I am loud. I talk a lot. I am southern. I am stubborn. I try to be happy. But I also struggle. I struggle to keep my head above water. I want those around me to like me and to accept me. And for a long time, it wasn't that way. I found myself trying to change for those around me. And one day I woke up and decided that I was tired of it. I am who I am. Take me or leave me. I am much happier now because I have found those who love me for me. They lift me up. They go on runs with me and let me vent to the mountains about not getting an email from Devin (which was in my inbox by the time I finished my run. But it's the principle of the thing!). They know when I am sad. Just the other week, Sam played this song called "I'm Yours" by the script. And I don't know WHAT happened, but all of a sudden, I was in tears. So she gave me a hug and popped in "The Mummy". Simple as that. For those of you who know me and have wondered where I have gone, well...I haven't been myself in a long time. The shocker is that I am finally back to who I want to be. I can't always be the strong friend who carries everyone's burdens or who caters to your needs. Sometimes, I need to do things for myself. I need to be taken care of too. So this semester, I have really focused on getting myself to be the best I can be. I have been running again. I go to bed early and wake up hours before class starts to prepare for my day. My homework is done early. I surround myself with those who make me happy and who I know I can cry, laugh, or just talk with. Bloggers, I encourage you to try to find peace in your life. I have found it through running and those around me. Especially Sam and Amber. They deserve a shout out. They have been angels to me this semester. Helping me come back to who I want to be. Thank you. But really, try to find peace within yourself. When life throws you a hardball, make cookies! That's what we do in my apartment. Do whatever it takes to find that inner peace and try to hang on to it. Everyone deserves to be happy and to feel content with their lives. Life doesn't always have to be hard. But when a trial emerges, endure it! Don't quit! Grit your teeth and survive. I promise, good things come from our greatest trials.

Well bloggers, I have rambled enough. So always remember...

All good things come...to those who have PEACE.

"You Don't Have to Just Survive, You Can Live"

Top Left Corner: Devin Porter. Look at him! Such a cutie!

Hello Bloggers! In my weekly email from Devin, he told me that "you don't have to just survive, you can live". He was referring to some of the challenges I have been facing in my life. I always say that I am tough and that I can handle it. But he reminded me today that I don't have to just handle it. I need to live too. Do ya'll see what he is saying? We all have trials and difficulties in our lives. And we have to endure them. But there are some aspects of our lives that we can eliminate so that we can be happy once more. It's not always about surviving, it's about living. We should not have to tolerate things that make us unhappy. We should always be striving to be happy! 

So here is lesson #9: Be happy. Let the things in your life that bring you down go. You don't need them. Find your own joy and happiness and love your life!

I am going to gush about Devin for a moment. This picture was taken (I believe) after his first baptism. I am so proud of him. He is doing amazing. He is preaching the gospel and serving the Lord. I miss him a lot. But when I saw this picture, it gave me great insight into where he is and what he is doing. As much as I miss him, he needs to be in Argentina. And I think he is happy! Which is the goal. Look at how tan he has gotten...it's going to be embarrassing when he gets home and he's super tan and I am white white super white. Oh well. He loves me anyways!

So I think the greatest lesson that I gathered from today's email is that we all deserve to be happy. And we need to be happy. And I think this means figuring out for ourselves what makes us happy and eliminating the parts of our lives that make us sad. There needs to be a good balance between trials and things we can cut out from our lives.

So always remember....

All good things...come to those who LIVE.

Costco Friday and the Number 34

Hello Bloggers! Happy Friday! First of all, I must tell you the most exciting news of the day! My sister, got into Brigham Young University!!! Not surprising. She got a 34 on the ACT without even cracking a book. But still, it always feels good to finally get that acceptance letter! I am so happy! Being out here in Utah can be lonely, and I can't wait to have Carlie out here with me. I get my running partner back!!!! She is going to study engineering (I think the verdict is still out on which one she wants to pursue) and she is going to rock this planet. I am just so happy that she decided to come here. Sorry Georgia Tech, my baby sister is going to come show these Utards what she can do! Congratulations Carlie!

So I posted this picture because it pertains to both stories I have to tell. On the left is Carlie. Soon she will be the one wearing the graduation cap! So exciting! In the middle is my Nonno. He passed away over a year ago, and not a day goes by where I don't think about him. So every Friday, I go to Costco. I usually go alone, and I am perfectly content with that fact. But every Friday I go and get a Costco hotdog. $1.62 for a hotdog and a drink! Perfect meal for a college student. I think people think I am weird for loving Costco so much, but let me tell ya'll why. Towards the end of his life, Nonno had a hard time walking very far, and he had a few fainting spells, so driving was out of the question. My mom and I would go up to Virginia (and usually some combination of my siblings as well) and while my mom took my Nonna out to do something fun, I would sit with my Nonno. Usually we just watched westerns, or NCIS. I think he turned on NCIS mostly for my benefit, even though I actually came to love watching westerns. But anyways. We would sit in the basement together, both of us sleeping on and off, and just enjoying each others company. Nonno was a character. He would hoist himself out of his recliner, shuffle to the kitchen, steal a few cookies from the cookie jar, shuffle back to the family room, hand me a cookie, and sit down like nothing happened. He loved his cookies. I ate so many cookies the summer before he died, because I stayed with him for over 2 weeks. That's a lot of cookies. But my favorite days were when he would lean over to me and go, "Hey Warden...you want to break me out of here and go get a hotdog?". I would just laugh. It was always good to see that mischievous look on his face, because it almost made me forget that he was sick. So I would help him out of his chair, get his shoes, and grab the keys. Of course, I would always shoot my mom a text telling her where we were going, but I would play along with him and let him think that we were going rouge. So we would go to Costco. He would go sit down at one of the tables, and I would get our hotdogs. Ketchup on mine, and ketchup, mustard, and onions on his. Then we would sit and enjoy our hotdogs and diet coke. So now every Friday, I go to Costco and I get myself a hotdog and a diet coke in memory of my Nonno. It isn't much, but I like to think it's because I am moving on. I know he is happier in Heaven. But he meant a lot to me, and this is how I keep his memory close to me. I love him. And my Costco hotdogs :).

So always remember....

All good things...come to those who REMEMBER.

Baseball Equals Love

Hello Bloggers! Today on my way home from school, I saw a couple of high school aged boys walking from the baseball fields. They were in full uniform and had baseball bats in hands. And I'll be darned, I almost burst into tears! It made me so homesick. People always look at me funny when I talk about my love of baseball, so I am going to take this opportunity to tell you why I love baseball! 

This boy works hard

Spencer started playing baseball when he was 3 years old. We had just moved to Georgia and had not really been exposed to sports, considering that my sister and I danced, and our 2 seasons of indoor soccer in no way counted as a dedicated sport. And then Spencer came around. I remember one game when Spencer was only 3. He was playing third base. The ball came to him, he caught it, touched the bag to get the force out, and tagged the runner on third who didn't double up. He was 3 years old and had the baseball sense to get an unassisted triple play. The thing about Spencer is that he works HARD. Yeah, the kid has amazing baseball smarts. But he is seriously the hardest working kid. There is something about watching him play. Let me paint ya'll a picture. It's the third game of the day. It's night time. You have been at the field since 8 in the morning and you have watched your brother and his team fight their way to the elimination bracket. Your brother is at shortstop and his bat has been on fire. So it's the third game. And you are on edge. You are tired. And you want nothing more than for your brother to win. You are losing your voice, and your mouth hurts from eating so many sun flower seeds. Now back to my reality. Spencer gets up to bat. The bases are loaded. And he hits a grand slam. Over the fence. And this kid just runs the bases and goes back to the dug out like it's no big deal. My favorite thing about Spencer is that he will play like a rock star during a game. He will catch pop flies like they are no big deal. But when I say, "catch", I mean Spencer will dive, jump, spin, and do ANYTHING it takes to make sure that ball gets into his glove. Hence why he always ends up being the dirtiest kid on the team. He spends half the game in the dirt. But ya know what, that ball always ends up in his glove. Or Spencer will slam the ball to the fence, getting anywhere from a single, to a triple. Sometimes, he even gets an infield home run. And watching him steal is nerve racking, but he does it like it is his job. In fact, it is his job. And he does it with ease. Look away for a second, and all of a sudden, he is at second. One of my favorite plays was when he was at third and he was inching his way down the line. Pass ball. And BAM Spencer touched home and walked away before the catcher even had a prayer to recover the ball. And he just walked away without looking back. No big deal. 

My favorite part is taking Spencer home, because he is so stoney on the field, but the minute he comes over to me, a huge smile breaks out on his face. I'll look at him and comment on something amazing he did, and will just smile at me, happy with the way he played. And even on bad days (because we all have bad days, no matter what sport), he still usually has a good attitude. Sometimes all I have to say is, "Dude...." and he will just shake his head and laugh. The game is important to him. He wants to win. But I like how he leaves the game on the field. He remembers the accomplishments and learns from the mistakes. If on the off chance Spencer misses a fly ball, I tell the stands to shut up. I know my brother. He will learn and redeem his mistake at the first chance possible. And 9 times out of 10, the next ball that comes to him is solidly in his mitt. Watching Spencer play makes me so happy, because I get to watch him do something that he loves, and that has made me and my entire family love it. It is a part of our lives. You can't understand how amazing the sound of a baseball connecting with a bat is unless you have seen your brother slam the ball to the outfield. You don't appreciate the sound of baseball cleats unless you have had your brother click towards you after a win. You don't appreciate sun flower seeds unless they are your only source of stress relief during a game. I love baseball. And I love the person it has helped my brother become. He is an amazing example of patience and dedication. He works hard, and the rewards are abundant. I love baseball and the time I spend with my family watching Spencer play. I can't wait to go home and watch Spencer play again! 

So always remember bloggers....

All good things...come to those who are DEDICATED.

Valentines Day

Elder Porter (sorry, I couldn't resist but give him a shout out)

Hello Bloggers! Happy Valentines Day! Alright, now let me put my two cents in on what I really think about Valentines Day. I am alone today. Please, do not pity me. That would just annoy me. I don't need one day out of the year to feel loved. Devin loves me everyday. So for me, today is just another Tuesday. Swamped with anatomy, stressed about life, and surviving without my boyfriend actually being here. I don't understand what all the complaining is about. Seriously people. It's a Hallmark holiday. It shouldn't be this big horrible ordeal if you are single. If you are single, live it up! You can date whoever you want, get free food, and do whatever you want. If you are in a relationship, maybe you should think if you love your other half every day of the year, or just on Valentines Day and Christmas. Love should extend beyond flowers or gifts. Love cannot be contained to one day. Love should be a daily feeling, a daily reminder of why you are in a relationship. So here is what I think: stop complaining!!!! I have a boyfriend who is going to miss 2 Valentines Days and I could care less!!! I am going to have a girls night with my roommates, and I am perfectly content with this. I am no more lonely today than I was yesterday. Nor am I less happy than I was yesterday. We are what we CHOOSE to be. 

So here is lesson #8: make your own damn happiness and stop complaining. I don't need to see it on facebook. Really. Enough is enough people. Be happy. Choose to be happy. Appreciate what you have in your life. And realize that there is more than one type of love that you can appreciate on Valentines Day. Call your mom, your sister, your dad, or your best friend. Tell them you love them. And please, stop moping about the lack of a relationship. If you define your happiness off of if you are in a relationship or not, then you need to step back and reevaluate yourself. True happiness in a relationship is being happy alone, so that you can be happy with someone else.

So always remember...

All good things...come to those who LOVE.

Dayton's Legs

Dayton's Legs. Prepare to cry!!

Hello Bloggers! If you didn't watch the link, go watch it. Right now. And have a box of tissues handy because you will cry.

Isn't this story amazing? This boy was 13 years old, and he sought out a friendship in an boy who could not talk, could not walk, but was just as much as boy as anyone else. And this 13 year old boy had the maturity to see and understand that this boy needed a friend just as much as any other boy. Not only did he befriend him, but he got him involved in a sport. They completed a triathlon together. Spencer pulled Dayton in a raft for the swimming section. He pulled him on his bike. And he pushed him across the finish line. He was Dayton's legs. Can you imagine the joy that Dayton felt for not only being able to accomplish such a feat, but to have such a loving friend who refused to leave him behind. This story is truly inspirational. So I ask ya'll...whose legs are you today? Are you helping someone in need? Reaching out to those who have fallen? Are you seeing the light of Christ in those around you and trying to reflect that same joy and love? If not, try. I find this story so touching because I find no greater joy than working with children who have disabilities. I really believe that these children are perfect. They may have physical disabilities, but when you look them in the eye, you can see their personalities. You can see that there is a child and a soul in there who is so sweet, and who just wants to be accepted. I am a staunch believer that everyone is equal and that every soul deserves to be treated with kindness and unquestioning love. So this story about Dayton really touched my heart. If only there were more people in this world who were willing to reach out and help those, no matter how different they may seem. So let's all try to be a little better and help someone in the world today.

Lesson #7: Love yourself and you will be able to love those around you.

So always remember....

All good things...come to those who LOVE.