Let There Be Light

Hello bloggers!! Tonight I was rereading my old blog that I had started over the summer. I started this new one because I wanted to get away with the darkness that I had been (literally) running from this summer. But I think it is unfair to say that my summer was completely dark and depressing. It is true that I was lost. I didn't know up from down and I felt like my whole world had shattered around me. But there were so many good things that happened last summer.


For instance, I saw Harry Potter with my best friend Katie and my sister Carlie. We all dressed up and went to the midnight showing. Carlie dressed up as Luna and Katie dressed up as Waldo. It was quite the night. Carlie kept going around talking to different people in Luna quotes and Katie kept getting a plethora of screams that they "found waldo". I can only imagine how many My Life is Average posts we made it into. And I am pretty sure Carlie appeared in the Atlanta newspaper the next day. It was so fun. We laughed. We cried. We quoted. And I watched my childhood end with the roll of the credits. Quite fitting for my summer though. I felt like my summer defined the end of my childhood. Every dream I had, gone. But unlike Harry Potter, I couldn't rewind and watch again. A fact that I am alright with. But anyways. Harry Potter was awesome to go to. 







Camie came to visit me. We went to the aquarium, a braves game, bought Toms, and ate our way through Atlanta. My all time favorite line? "Do you know that your tennis courts are monogrammed?". Haha. Don't mess with the south and it's monogramming! It is a very real art! That was a fun week. But I wasn't myself. And even when I came back out for school, I wasn't healed yet. And somewhere along the way, Camie and I lost our way. She's getting married in April. I wish her all the best and thank her for being a great friend when I needed her. Best wishes and joy in your marriage.

And of course, Devin was a factor this summer. He called me the night my world came crashing down. And after that, I needed him. He was the one who listened to me cry at 3 in the morning. He was my rock. It helped that he wasn't actually in Georgia. I had to spread my misery amongst my friends. But the night I bought my plane ticket to see him (a decision that changed my life), I will never forget. My parents had gone to Savannah for a baseball tournament. I had had food poisoning, and on top of everything else, I just couldn't handle it. So I was miserable. And lonely. So Devin called me and persuaded me to go to Spokane to visit him. So I called my parents and asked them if this was ok. Yes, I am aware that I am in college, but I still felt like I needed their permission, especially after everything they put up with from me last summer. So as I was talking to my mom, I find this great deal online to fly up for labor day weekend. And my dad surprised me and bought my ticket. I will never forget what my mom asked me. She asked, "Will this make you happy?". And I said yes. And it did. And now 6 1/2 months later, I am waiting for him. Waiting for the boy who so patiently waited for me. Waited for me to finally see him. So even though my summer was miserable and my life did not turn out the way I thought it would, I am so grateful. 

Right to left: Spencer, Maddy, and Parker

I feel like it would be unfair to not mention the two kiddos who have changed my life the most. I started working with Maddy and Parker when I first moved to Georgia in 2002. At first, I just sat with Maddy at a little table in front of the TV and played with her while her mom did things around the house. Eventually, as I got older, I started to babysit them when their parents went out. Apparently I was the only one who could make them (aka Maddy) go to bed. It was quite simple really. I would just tell Maddy that her mom would only come home if she went to sleep. And if that didn't work, I would grab my book and sit in the hallway, making sure she would stay in her bed. My favorite night was finding Maddy asleep in the doorway of her room, too afraid to cross it, but wanting the comfort of being closer to her parents. Parker was always the bed time angel. I would read him a story and he would be asleep before his head hit the pillow. I miss reading stories to them, but as with everything in life, they grew up and no longer need me to read them bed time stories. 


Soon, I was tutoring Maddy every Monday. We would sit in my basement and struggle through her homework together, and then she would stay for dinner. And then when I got my license and a car, I started nannying for them over the summer. But I don't like to call it nannying. Sure, there were some days that were hard. Trying to get Maddy to do her PT homework after surgery was no cakewalk. But I did discover the malicious joy of making her handwrite her apologies. That became my newest form of punishment. Usually by the time she had finished writing the apology, we were both laughing because it was so unbelievably painful for her pride. She may be cranky, but we sure know how to laugh together. Maddy knows everything about me. She remembers everything I have ever told her, and I tell her everything. I trust her. She is the best listener. And she loves being a part of my life. And I love letting her in. I may have had to punish her, control her food portions, and made her swim, but I really just think of her as my best friend. I love and miss her while I am at school.


But let's not forget her brother. Parker has the kindest heart of anyone I have ever met. He is always looking out for others. One day at the pool, a group of girls wouldn't let Maddy play. So Parker took a pool noodle, filled it with water, and blew it at the girls. When the looked at me to punish him, I just shrugged and told them they got what they deserved. Parker and I fist pumped later. He is always looking out for those around him. Parker goes to different day camps to keep him busy, and though it is easier to just have one kiddo to watch, I miss Parker when is gone. I would usually leave Maddy at home when I went to go get Parker so that I could catch up with him, and give him an opportunity to talk to me one on one about anything that was bothering him. I love driving around with Parker. I always turn on Taylor Swift and he sings along loudly, windows down, and a smile on his face. I love those jamming sessions with him. And sometimes we would sneak to QT and get icees. Sometimes we would bring one home for Maddy, but other times, I let it be between just us (not that Maddy hasn't had her fair share of secret treats). 


These kiddos have taught me the meaning of friendship and loyalty. I miss them. They have taught me compassion and love, even for those who don't deserve it. And last summer, even though the rest of my world fell apart, these kiddos were my rock. I watched Dance Moms with Maddy. I listened to music with Parker. They were my motivation to get up in the morning. Thanks kiddos for letting be your friend and for always trying your best to be good. We all have our bad days. Just keep going and don't be discouraged. And when you do get discouraged, look at how far you have come. And don't give up. Remember, I am always a phone call away. And I will be home soon! 


So always remember...


All good things come to those who don't get DISCOURAGED.